2.22.2011

A Well Planned Wedding - 5 Meows

As a celebration of love, and in preparation of my peoples upcoming numptuals, I decided to take a crack at being a wedding planner! I deduced the best place for a naked cat to study the matrimonial arts would be a wedding convention. So I packed up my crew and headed to the annual Moncton Wedding Show! First on the agenda was a bridal fashion show. I had to stay away from the loud speakers because of my sensitive ears...
..but fortunately cats have excellent vision over distances. You guys are taking notes on these patterns and colours right?
Next, since I am not not worried about fitting into a dress, I am off to sample the cakes!! I wonder if these zebra striped cupcakes taste like the real thing?
When my people asked the "Glamour Cakes" representative If I could get a close up shot with the merchandise, he looked completely horrified and sputtered "No, no, no, no." So I crossed them off my vendor list and moved on!
The champagne people had no qualms whatsoever with a Sphynx cat close up shot! Of course everyone knows alcohol and nudity are often synonymous.
Mmm! A fragrant fruity bouquet with a hint of Niagara grapes. Delicious!
Another activity that often occurs after alcohol consumption is tattooing! Here is a less permanent Henna alternative. Bridal Hennaing dates back to the Usko-Mediterranean civilization during the Neolithic period.

Oooh! A bubble machine! Bubbles are a party "must have".

Speaking of parties, this is the party bus!!! I look very serious in this picture because partying is serious business. Woo Hoo!

The party bus is loaded with speakers, a bar, disco lights and even has a pole dancing instrument!

After the bus I checked out some chandeliers and table settings...


This traditional design was my favorite, perhaps because it complemented my "love machine" outfit so well.


After all my hard work, my people decided to traipse off to the local courthouse! They did promise me they would have a large wedding and reception next year....over which I could have full reign.


Despite the short notice, I was still able to dig up a clean tuxedo.


That is when Daddy told me I was not his only "Best Man"! Apparently, he needed someone who could sign the wedding certificate...

So here is uncle Scott behind me, showing off his opposable thumbs. I like to remind him that he is the 2nd best man whenever he brings out the "thumb" card.


While we waited for the ceremony to start I snooped around the courtroom. That is when the judge entered and informed us very sternly that this was not the place for animals!!!


My people explained that I was a very well mannered, certified therapy pet that has visits people in the hospital! The judge decided to let me stay! However as soon as she started speaking, something strange came over me...


...and I began to HOWL! I did not just meow, I CATERWAULED! I yowled, and Raowled and no one could shut me up! My people were extremely embarrassed because I had never behaved in this manner before!


I have sat quietly through dozens of school plays and dance recitals! I do my own banking and grocery shopping without a peep! No one can understand what has gotten into me, least of all myself!


Here is Daddy gritting his teeth in a fake smile, signalling for me to be removed from the room before the judge kicks everyone out...


So I spent the rest of the ceremony on a bench outside the room, smiling sweetly at the bailiff, with my pie hole clamped shut!

Once the judge left, I silently posed for pictures with everyone! Here we are from left to right,

Back Row: Daddy, Grampy, Auntie April, Uncle Colin, Uncle Scott. Middle Row: Mom holding me, Granny
Front Row: Alex, Mikey, Mackenzie
After the photos I took the elevator and left the courthouse without a sound! Since then I have reverted to my usual custom of not speaking in public.

What can I say? Weddings make me cry. I give this wedding, and the Moncton Bridal Show 5 Yowls out of 5.
Do not forget to check out ALL my other blog reviews! Just choose a date under the "More of my Adventures" heading in the upper right column.

© 2011 Aislynne